Sep
3
2010
Dear Diary,
A break from writing today. Let’s instead watch this hilarious cartoon that pretty much sums up my eating habits.
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Sep
1
2010
Dear Diary,
What are party potatoes, you wonder? Well, I’ve started providing parenthetical explanations alongside some of the items I eat to lessen your confusion. Party potatoes (shout out to Meghan E.!) is a super-swank way to serve—no, not potatoes—but TATER TOTS! I know!!! Just when you thought tater tots’ golden perfection couldn’t be improved on, some brilliant Midwestern mom gussied them up with cheese and Rice Krispies. (M., please have your mom send recipe. Thanks!).
- 2 spaetzle
- water
- coffee
- 4 bites different varieties French Silk Pie
- 1 bowl chicken dumpling soup
- 2 bites “party potatoes” (hash browns, cheese, Rice Krispies)
- 5 varieties poule au pot
- 1 cinnamon-sugar cake doughnut (DEEE-LICIOUS! Just out of the fryer!)
- 1 can Polar Orange Dry Diet Soda
- 1 bite Velveeta/Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom mix (base for cheddar-broccoli-rice casserole – YIKES!)
- 5 “lite” oatmeal cookies
- 1 spaetzle
- 5 shots coffee (taste test)
- 3 saltine crackers
- 4 bites brisket
- 1 bite ginger cake
- 7 shots jarred roasted red pepper soup
- 1 Dixie cupful of club soda
- 3 bites (3 varieties) broccoli-cheese rice casserole
P.S. I heart Dixie cups.
Aug
31
2010
Dear Diary,
Hmmm. I didn’t eat much at all today. Nutritionally speaking, though, I think I hit all levels on the pyramid: Protein, check. Dairy, check. Carbs, checkcheckcheckcheck! What’s that? Vegetables? In the Country, should we ever come across a vegetable, we’d smother it in cheese. Or deep-fry it. Vegetables…Ha!
- Coffee
- 3 bites BBQ steak tips
- 1 hard-boiled egg
- 3 bites chocolate bread pudding
- 1 small spoonful vanilla custard
- 1 cube beef flap
- ½ can Polar Diet Ginger Ale
- 1 bite orange bundt cake
- 2 mushy, undercooked spaetzle
- 1 bite cranberry walnut pie
- Bowl of Rice Krispies with skim milk (note how I forewent the whole milk)
- 1 bite cheesecake
- 1 bite angel food cake
Aug
30
2010
The idea for Voracious Billy Goat was born on June 24th, 2008. It was my second week of work and I could tell it was going to be aggressive. I wondered if this was going to be a “Freshman 15″ situation and whether I needed to up my acid reflux meds.
Dear Diary,
“BREAKFAST” “LUNCH” “DINNER”: The words carry no meaning. It is a time warp in the kitchen; it doesn’t matter if you have dessert before your main course. I suppose, if you want to be technical, I had lo mein for breakfast and cake for lunch.
- ¾ cup chicken teriyaki lo mein
- 3 – 4 bites chicken with different teriyaki glazes
- 2 challah bread cubes, toasted
- ½ grilled cheese sandwich
- 1 can Polar Orange Dry Diet soda
- 3 pieces BBQ steak tips
- 2 bites sticky toffee pudding
- 3 bites Gooey Butter Cake
- 1 almond sandwich cookie with raspberry jam
- 1 bite Hawaiian, banana-leaf wrapped pork