VoraciousBillyGoat

Dear Diary,

Long weekend. And now, back to the wonderful world of food. Not that I didn’t eat this weekend. Although I usually end my week at the test kitchen with resolute promises to have nothing but steamed vegetables and water in an attempt to cleanse what must be a toxic bloodstream, a brief train ride home is enough to clear away such nonsensical thinking.

This hot summer’s day brings with it food better suited for crisp fall days, but, 17 Station Street is much like Alice’s rabbit hole—one stumbles, trips, and falls headfirst into a land that knows no time or season. If only one had Alice’s magical shrinking biscuit that would keep one’s proportions in check.

• 1 bowl Honey Bunches of Oats cereal with 1 banana and 2% milk
• Coffee
• Sour cream smashed potatoes (multiple tastings, about 1 cup total—starting to hate spuds)
• Stuffed fillet of sole with lemon cream sauce
• 1 sip Hollandaise sauce (who “sips” Hollandaise?!)
• 1 lick French silk pie
• 3 low-fat oatmeal cookies (multiple tastings…ignoring the fact that low-fat doesn’t mean low-carb or low-sugar)
• 1 bite apricot bundt cake
• 1 bite apricot tarte Tatin
• 1 bite vegetable-stuffed trout
• 1 bite bacon-wrapped bluefish

Tags: bacon, cake, cookies, potatoes
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Dear Diary,

How demure I was today! Teaspoons-worth of tastes… Having some twinges of guilt? Or stabs of pain from acid reflux that defy even a double-dose of Prilosec? I wonder if I’ll be able to keep it up.

P.S. It’s really stinky in this kitchen. By end of day, my very soul reeks of allium and the ghosts of deep-fried food.

• 5 varieties baked sweet potatoes
• 2 bites banana bread
• coffee
• 2 bites steak
• 2 teaspoons gravy (2 varieties)
• 1 bite Kielbasa
• 1 handful microwave popcorn
• 4 bites buffalo chicken strips (4 varieties)
• 3 teaspoons blue cheese dressing/dip
• 1 piece Orange Kiss Me Cake
• handful Cape Cod potato chips

Tags: allium, cake, kielbasa, Prilosec, reflux
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Dear Diary,

What are party potatoes, you wonder? Well, I’ve started providing parenthetical explanations alongside some of the items I eat to lessen your confusion. Party potatoes (shout out to Meghan E.!) is a super-swank way to serve—no, not potatoes—but TATER TOTS! I know!!! Just when you thought tater tots’ golden perfection couldn’t be improved on, some brilliant Midwestern mom gussied them up with cheese and Rice Krispies. (M., please have your mom send recipe. Thanks!).

• 2 spaetzle
• water
• coffee
• 4 bites different varieties French Silk Pie
• 1 bowl chicken dumpling soup
• 2 bites “party potatoes” (hash browns, cheese, Rice Krispies)
• 5 varieties poule au pot
• 1 cinnamon-sugar cake doughnut (DEEE-LICIOUS! Just out of the fryer!)
• 1 can Polar Orange Dry Diet Soda
• 1 bite Velveeta/Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom mix (base for cheddar-broccoli-rice casserole – YIKES!)
• 5 “lite” oatmeal cookies
• 1 spaetzle
• 5 shots coffee (taste test)
• 3 saltine crackers
• 4 bites brisket
• 1 bite ginger cake
• 7 shots jarred roasted red pepper soup
• 1 Dixie cupful of club soda
• 3 bites (3 varieties) broccoli-cheese rice casserole

P.S. I heart Dixie cups.

Tags: cake, coffee, Dixie cup, Polar Orange Dry Diet Soda, tater tots
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Dear Diary,

Hmmm. I didn’t eat much at all today. Nutritionally speaking, though, I think I hit all levels on the pyramid: Protein, check. Dairy, check. Carbs, checkcheckcheckcheck! What’s that? Vegetables? In the Country, should we ever come across a vegetable, we’d smother it in cheese. Or deep-fry it. Vegetables…Ha!

• Coffee
• 3 bites BBQ steak tips
• 1 hard-boiled egg
• 3 bites chocolate bread pudding
• 1 small spoonful vanilla custard
• 1 cube beef flap
• ½ can Polar Diet Ginger Ale
• 1 bite orange bundt cake
• 2 mushy, undercooked spaetzle
• 1 bite cranberry walnut pie
• Bowl of Rice Krispies with skim milk (note how I forewent the whole milk)
• 1 bite cheesecake
• 1 bite angel food cake

Tags: beef, cake, cereal, chocolate
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The idea for Voracious Billy Goat was born on June 24th, 2008. It was my second week of work and I could tell it was going to be aggressive. I wondered if this was going to be a “Freshman 15″ situation and whether I needed to up my acid reflux meds.

Dear Diary,

“BREAKFAST” “LUNCH” “DINNER”: The words carry no meaning. It is a time warp in the kitchen; it doesn’t matter if you have dessert before your main course. I suppose, if you want to be technical, I had lo mein for breakfast and cake for lunch.

• ¾ cup chicken teriyaki lo mein
• 3 – 4 bites chicken with different teriyaki glazes
• 2 challah bread cubes, toasted
• ½ grilled cheese sandwich
• 1 can Polar Orange Dry Diet soda
• 3 pieces BBQ steak tips
• 2 bites sticky toffee pudding
• 3 bites Gooey Butter Cake
• 1 almond sandwich cookie with raspberry jam
• 1 bite Hawaiian, banana-leaf wrapped pork

Tags: cake, Polar Orange Dry Diet Soda, pork, sandwich
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