Sep
25
2010
Dear Diary,
I took a nap today and had that horrible nightmare about my teeth falling out. Have you ever had that one? I’ve heard it’s fear of loss. I’ll say! If I lose my teeth I won’t be able to experience texture: no crunch, no pensive chew, no soft bubblegum rumination, no crisp, no snap, no crackle, no pop.
Can I tell you how awful it was? I’ll tell you anyway… My teeth are gray. The crown I have (an aside to explain waking life crown: I chew on imaginary food in my sleep, i.e. I grind at night) is loose. I walk to the bathroom and get to within an inch of the mirror. The reflection begins to fog with my breath. I panic. My mouth thickens with saliva. I spit out a thin slice of tooth. Terrified, I pinch the tooth with my thumb and forefinger. It wiggles in my pulpy, mauve gum.
How happy was I when I woke up and ran my tongue along still firmly fixed upper and lower maxillary bony protrusions?
What I was able to eat, given my pearly whites hadn’t actually spilled out of my mouth:
Breakfast at home:
- Honey Bunches of Oats, 2% milk, 1 banana
Work:
- Coffee (with half-and-half, 1 tsp. sugar for lack of preferred sugar substitute—not hypocritical! I like to CHEW on my calories, not drink them…unless we’re talking about milkshakes)
- 6 varieties sour cream-onion smashed potatoes
- 1 slice red gala apple
- 3 varieties “lite” oatmeal cookies
- 2 varieties poule au pot
- 4 varieties French toast casserole
- 2 varieties broccoli-cheddar rice casserole
- 2 varieties Buffalo chicken with blue cheese dip
- Romaine lettuce with 5 varieties creamy Italian dressing
- 1 bite brisket with BBQ sauce
- 2 bites cornmeal biscuit
- a few bites cheese pizza
- coffee
